Out of this Dimension
by Ambush Commander
Summary: StarFox, after months of boredom, recieve their assignment: To spray General Pepper graphitti all over a deserted field. But while they're over, they get ambushed by a giant paint pot. Is this all madness? Or is there something more sinister?
1. Prologue: Salvaged Classified Document

Classified Information Salvaged from the Databanks of General Pepper's SuperComputer128  
  
***************************************************************************  
  
REPORT:  
  
By Lieutenant Ibf  
  
The Lylat System is still full of mysteries. Just now, a giant slot machine has been identified in Sector Z, the abandoned ship graveyard. However, this report is not about huge machines appearing out of nowhere. This is about the rescue of crew 3721, from which every member has gone insane. It has been my job to investigate the reasons why this has happened. Following up now is the interview that was taken when they were rescued at Sector Z.  
  
Soldier 1: (Babbling incoherently)  
  
Interviewer: Calm down now. You have been missing for three months now. Could you please, slowly, identify where you think you were?  
  
Soldier 2: Not real, not unreal. SOMEWHERE INBETWEEN!!! (Required to be restrained)  
  
Soldier 3: All wavy. Weird. Weird. Weird. Weird. Weird. Weird. (Repeats 32 times total).  
  
Interviewer: Yes, I see. Can you describe the settings that you saw while you were gone?  
  
Soldier 2: Wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy, wavy...  
  
Soldier 4: Big smile! (Cowers)  
  
Soldier 3: Not real, not unreal. SOMEWHERE INBETWEEN!!!  
  
Soldier 1: Moon happy.  
  
Soldier 4: Yes! Yes! Moon happy smile!  
  
Soldier 2: Blue, purple, orange!  
  
Soldier 4: Blue, purple, orange.  
  
All Soldiers: Blue, purple, orange!  
  
Soldier 3: Stars!  
  
Soldier 1: Space.  
  
Soldier 2: Nothing.  
  
Soldier 4: Weird bird bring us there! Beware of big bird! Aaaaah!  
  
Interviewer: So the place you were at was wavy, had blue, purple and orange stars, and had happy moons. (This doesn't make sense)  
  
Soldier 4: Nononono! Moon colored. Star white. Horrifying!  
  
Soldier 1: Weird music  
  
Soldier 3: Very, very weird.  
  
Soldier 2: Paper. PAPER! PAPER!!!  
  
Soldier 4: Destroy ship, we stranded on moon. Moon wavy. Moon not exist. We insane.  
  
Soldier 1: Paper. PAPER! AIRPLANE!!!  
  
All Soldiers: Noooo!  
  
So far no reasonable explanation has been devised that are the causes of these soldiers insanity. However, through a number of questions, we have found out what the soldiers think they were at.  
  
1. Wavy space  
  
2. Moons that are colored blue, purple and orange and are smiling  
  
3. Paper airplanes  
  
4. Weird Music  
  
Of course, there is no record of anything in the Lylat or in our vicinity that would fit this description. The fact that there was weird music and wavy space strengthens the fact that these men are insane. However, that fact has not been proven yet. What we do know is that this was not coincidental. There may be some connection with the recent increased Venomian activity and the insanity. Perhaps it was an experiment of Andross.  
  
Recently, though, General Pepper has stated that there has been an increased amount of warp radiation throughout the Lylat System, especially at Meteo. A group of probes that had been sent out to map Meteo have mysteriously disappeared, but strangely, they still are broadcasting signals to us. These signals are full of glitches. See statistic 1.1  
  
Visibility: 999,999,999,999.999  
  
Hostile Forms: SQRT (-1)  
  
Travel Horizon: Misaligned  
  
Binary Pulsar: *********  
  
Cosmological Constant: 29.4913... (Not same as ours)  
  
Statistic 1.1  
  
We can only speculate why these signals have not been ceased, and why such major glitches are occurring. All visual contact had ceased, and there are seemingly no bodies of space within the area they are mapping, but the gravity says otherwise.  
  
The final section of this document will be concerned with the seemingly impossible aspect of time travel. We seem to have a continuation of ships that are exceedingly futuristic. However, all attempts to scan these have resulted in the implosion of such scanning devise. WE will talk about Time Travel Horizons and the paradoxes that accompany it. And why such things may be possible due to new evidence conclusive to this article. We have only beg--  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
REST OF DOCUMENT HAS APPARENTLY BEEN LOST OR DESTROYED. A VIRUS DEPLOYED HAS ESSENTIALLY WIPED OUT ALL TRACES. THIS IS THE PROLOGUE. WHAT ARE YOU TO MAKE OF IT? 


	2. General Pepper's False Alarm

The sleek vessel gracefully glided through space as a thousand stars twinkled serenely behind the background of black. This ship, the Great Fox, had just recieved a distress signal from Corneria.  
"Fox! Andross is attacking Corneria! Our army cannot hold them off! Fox! We need your help!"  
Fox McCloud swiveled his chair as ROB64 sent a reply.  
"We are on our way."  
"Strange that Andross has already sent another attack fleet to Corneria so soon!" Peppy Hare commented.  
"Yep. Very strange," Slippy added, staring at the console.  
"Still, it does make things more interesting though," Falco interrupted as he strode into the room, feathers raised, eager to get into an Arwing so he could blow up some more Venomian units.  
None of the Starfox team members were fazed by the unexpected attack from the just defeated Andross. Andross had been exacting his revenge so many times before that it was simply a given that Andross would never be gone from the universe.  
"We will be arriving shortly. Report to your Arwing's for deployment."  
  
"We are entering the atmosphere of Corneria. All Arwings report in! Check all life support systems and be on the lookout for hostile air craft. Falco, double check your G-Diffuser system and Slippy, watch your back. We're going in!"  
The four C-shaped ships glided over the ocean approaching a large mass of land.  
"Venomian resistance should be here any moment. Prepare to fire."  
The Arwings crossed the threshold of land.  
The Arwings entered the city.  
Peppy said "It's quiet. Too quiet."  
Nothing happened.  
"What the heck? What's going on here?" Falco protested, angrily shooting down a satellite reciever out of pure frustration.  
"I do not know!" Slippy answered.  
"I'm going to try to contact General Pepper and find out what's going on!" Fox yelled.  
"We're gonna have to charge him extra for this..." Slippy murmured.  
Fox ignored Slippy's comment and switched on the comLink.  
"Fox! Where are you?" General Pepper roared. "They've already demolished half the city and have control of the central command center!"  
"Err, General Pepper?" the bamboozled Fox questioned, "Our sensors indicate no visible damage to any of the buildings in the entire vicinity of the area."  
"Of course not!" General Pepper replied. "What are you talking about?"  
"If this is an April's Fool joke, you're two months early."  
"What?! The city is half demolished! We need your help Fox! Wait! Who's that? AAAAAH!!! [lost signal]"  
Falco switched off his comLink. "That dog is really gonna get it when we get over to base!"  
The four Arwings flew into the hatch that was emblazoned with an insignia that indicated the base of the Cornerian Army.  
  
General Pepper paced nervously around his study. There might not have been anything unusual about this except that he was stark naked. He had been like this all morning.  
"Choices, choices! Should I wear a red suit or a brown suit?" He walked over to his cabinet. "Maybe polka-dot would be good for today. Or leather. How about maroon?"  
CRASH!  
With a resounding CRASH! the door crashed open and Fox, Slippy, Peppy and Falco burst into the room, blasters raised, and scanned the room for intruders.  
"AAAAAH!" General Pepper screamed. "What are you doing in my room? Out! Out!"  
"Sorry General Pepper." Fox said. "Standard procedure."  
"Cut to the chase!" Falco demanded. "WHY ARE YOU IN YOUR STUDY NAKED?!"  
"Because I couldn't decide whether or not to wear a tan suit, a leather suit, or a polka-dot suit. Now you tell me why you have just burst into my room, breaking down my antique doorway in the process, and invaded my privacy?"  
"Because of this!" Slippy thrust an infoDisk into General Pepper's hand, which he took reluctantly and placed into the computer screen.  
On the huge plasmatoid display, a image of General Pepper flickered to life.  
"Fox! Andross is attacking Corneria! Our army cannot hold them off! Fox! We need your help!" the speakers announced.  
"What is this? Some kind of joke?" General asked, eyebrows raised.  
"Watch," Fox beckoned.  
"What?! The city is half demolished! We need your help Fox! Wait! Who's that? AAAAAH!!! [lost signal]" The screen blinked off.  
"Uh, what was that?" General Pepper stuttered.  
"That was the report we recieved," Falco advanced, "FROM YOU!!!"  
"Uh, well, you see, I've been pacing in my study all morning, and, uh, I haven't been able to send any messages."  
"Well, this is still--" Falco started.  
"Calm down!" Fox interrupted.  
The all stood there for a few moments.  
"Well, we'll be seeing you General."  
"And remember, this is gonna cost you extra." Falco added.  
"Wait a second! What about--"  
"Oh yeah," Peppy shouted, "I think polka-dot will look good on you today."  
"Brilliant idea! I'll get straight to work!" General Pepper dived into his closet, while Fox welded the door back in place.  
  
Back in the Great Fox, StarFox recieved another message.  
"Hello chappies!" General Pepper greeted, looking quite unusual in the polka-dot parka with a stuffed vulture on his head.  
"Uh, hi general!"  
"I just wanted to give you your next assignment."  
"What? Great!" Falco interrupted, pushing Fox out of the way.  
"I want you, the renowned StarFox team, to paint General Pepper on a vacant cement field north of Corneria!"  
"What the--"  
"Don't worry, I've got customized paint-shooter guns here in the docking bay. Just come pick them up when you're ready and I'll send you off."  
"But--"  
"Oh yeah, did I forget to mention this assignment is worth $16,777,216? So hurry up!"  
"Yes sir, we're on our way."  
"Remember Falco! You're our only hope!"  
"Yeah, whatever." Falco switched the comLink off. 


	3. Double Deja Vu

Retrieving the Paint Blasters  
  
"DIE FOX!!!" Slippy screamed before hitting the trigger on his console and firing ten thousand gallons of premium green paint at Fox's arwing.  
"OH YEAH?! TAKE THIS!!!" Fox sprayed purple paint all over Slippy's arwing.  
"Something's wrong! I don't see anything!" Slippy screamed before narrowly hitting Falco's airship.  
"HEY! Watch where you're going Einstein!" Falco admonished.  
"I'll help you!" Peppy announced before spraying Slippy with a blast of--  
  
"RRIINNGG! RRIINNGG!" Fox rubbed his eyes groggily before his alarm clock went off again. "RRIINNGG! RRIINNGG!"  
"Okay I'm up!" Fox hit the alarm clock with his fist, perhaps a bit too hard.  
"RRIINNGG! RRIINNGG!"  
"What the f--"  
"RRIINNGG! RRIINNGG!"  
Fox banged the clock with his fist again.  
"RING! FOX IS AN IDIOT! FOX IS AN IDIOT! FOX IS AN IDIOT!"  
"Shut up stupid clock!" Fox took a big hammer and smashed the clock into tiny pieces.  
"RINGALINGARINGALINGARINGALINGARINGALINGARINGALINGA--"  
"DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS!!!" Fox yelled, brandishing a ray gun and waving it threateningly at the rogue clock.  
"ring." ZAAAAP!!! The clock disintigrated, leaving a shiny new scorch mark on Fox's cabinet.  
"What's all this noise about?" Falco stumbled into the room, still half asleep.  
"Yeah! Some of us are trying to get some sleep here!"  
"HE KILLED HIM!!! WAAAAAH!!!" A large red ghost that resembled a huge clock suddenly materialized out of thin air and started sobbing hysterically.  
"Oh no! This ship is infested with ghosts! And it's up to Sluigi to get rid of them!" Slippy cried.  
"Slippy, have you been playing Luigi's Mansion too much?"  
"Of course!" Slippy replied.  
Fox walked to the message room and phoned ROB64. "Hello ROB. We have a slight ghost infestation in room 02819. While we're off on General Pepper's assignment, could you take care of it for us?"  
"With pleasure!" Back at the console, ROB cracked his fingers evilly.  
  
General Pepper paced nervously around his study. There might not have been anything unusual about this except that he was stark naked. He had been like this all morning.  
"Choices, choices! Should I wear a red suit or a brown suit?" He walked over to his cabinet. "Maybe polka-dot would be good for today. Or leather. How about maroon?"  
CRASH!  
With a resounding CRASH! the door crashed open and Fox, Slippy, Peppy and Falco burst into the room, blasters raised, and scanned the room for intruders.  
"AAAAAH!" General Pepper screamed. "What are you doing in my room? Out! Out!"  
"Sorry General Pepper." Fox said. "Standard proce-- WAIT! This situation seems all to familiar!"  
"Of course it is! Deja vu! Incognito! You know, like all those detective novels."  
"Oh, it makes sense now!"  
"It always made cents! Now it makes dollars." General Pepper replied before donning a plaid Tshirt and baggy jeans. "How may I help you today?"  
"We're here to pick up the Incom 65 spaceships that you told us about yesterday."  
"Hey wait, we didn't--" Falco elbowed Slippy in the ribs.  
"Oh yes! Hanger 295, second door to the left."  
  
Later, StarFox found out that there was no Hangar 295, and went back to General Pepper's office.  
  
General Pepper paced nervously around his study. There might not have been anything unusual about this except that he was stark naked. He had been like this all morning.  
"Choices, choices! Should I wear a red suit or a brown suit?" He walked over to his cabinet. "Maybe polka-dot would be good for today. Or leather. How about maroon?"  
CRASH!  
With a resounding CRASH! the door crashed open and Fox, Slippy, Peppy and Falco burst into the room, blasters raised, and scanned the room for intruders.  
"AAAAAH!" General Pepper screamed. "What are you doing in my room? Out! Out!"  
"Sorry General Pepper." Fox said. "Standard proce-- WAIT! This situation seems all to familiar!"  
"Of course it is! Deja vu! Incognito! You know, like all those detective novels."  
"Oh, it makes sense now!"  
"It always made cents! Now it makes dollars." General Pepper replied before donning a plaid Tshirt and baggy jeans. "How may I help you today?"  
"This situation seems even more familiar!!!"  
"Wow, a double deja vu! I didn't know that this was possible!"  
"Well, how may I help you today?"  
"We need to pick up the Customized Paint Blasters that we will use to complete your assignment."  
"Ah yes! Hanger 295, second door to the left."  
Fox and the others started to walk down towards the hangar hall until Slippy vehemently exclaimed, "Wait a second, that hanger doesn't exist!"  
"Yes it does! Now go and get your equipment or I'll cut your pay in half!"  
Grudgingly, the StarFox team walked down the hall and walked into hanger 295, which was the second door to the left.  
"Well, here are the paint blasters. Let's load em up and head to that deserted field General Pepper was talking about."  
"Finally!" 


End file.
